Change!

The word has always irritated me .... right from the days it was used in our OCD (Orgn Change & Development) class . Cliched phrases / statements including "Change Management", "Change is the only constant in life" etc. made me loathe it further. I particularly loved the ad when the boss says "I want change" and all his subordinates including the sweeper pools in some rupee coins. Am not BIG on change - am a person of the present. I love to settle in a cozy spot in life and look for subtle change factors around me like weekend outings, new books, movies etc.

Inspite of going through considerable changes in life, uncertainty freaks me. Uncertainty - not of surroundings, but of people. My biggest jolt came in when I joined college 9 years back - life changed overnight from that of a happy town girl to a perplexed college girl in a multicultural environment. Little did I realize how depressing life would become when my parents left me behind and went home thousands of miles away. It took me umpteen hours of crying before I got over it... Over the last few years, the time taken to adapt to a major change has reduced from about 6 weeks to 3 weeks - which is good, relatively atleast!

My earlier blog seems to have done the trick - my cozy life in Hyderabad was put through CHANGE. It seems like it was the "farewell" blog - n btw, I did visit Salarjung once again. Zooming back to the topic, I have gone thru a lot of change over the last 2 months ......my job (D-->C), location (HYB-->MAS), marital status (Single --> Married), wake up time (7 am --> 6 am), daily travel time (50 mins --> 2 hrs), relations (a bunch of them added overnight), laziness quotient (ofcourse reduced), TV time (2 hrs a day --> 20 min a day), weather (dry --> humid)... its a long list. Marriage was the only one out of these that I was totally excited about. This excitement was so overwhelming that I did not care to bother about the rest. Anyway, now that life has changed and am feeling the impact, my mind started doing what it was meant for - think!

Change when effected, automatically triggers the obnoxious questions in life that one avoids the most... "What am I upto in life", "What do I actually want to do", "What are my weak areas - how should I handle them better next time" etc. Some of these find temporary answers and some of them dont. Right now, this exercise has led me to formulate a new goal... doing a PhD in the next 5 years! Ironical, considered the fact that I vouched not to lay foot anywhere near academics when I passed out of B school. The current obsession might not last long, but I am beginning to like the idea. When, where, what, how - yet to be figured out. 5 years down the lane, I ll check back on the progress rate!

Now that I have fairly settled in the new phase of life... I can confidently say that am enjoying it. Still dont feel settled - mainly coz am still living out of suitcase. Workplace is entirely different and slowly am getting into the groove. The best part is having K around me most of the time (I hate his travel routine though!). Though am missing my i-dont-care n independent life, I am happily settling in am-kinda-responsible life. Cheers to the days ahead!

Hyderabad Times...

Not sure if I had any connection with Hyderabad in my previous birth (if I did.. I hope I was a queen :D)... strangely my life seems to throw me back to this place wherever I go, whatever I do.. atleast until now!

My first association with the city began in Jan 2004... in the form of a 6 month long internship. Still a student, I packed my bags, ready to envelope my first brush with city life. As the auto rickshaw swept past SP road in the early hours of a chill morning, I looked around with a child’s enthusiasm. The flyovers and wide roads immediately captivated me and I hoped for a rocking stay. In the next 6 months, life unraveled numerous challenges, opportunities, excitement, fun, some interesting bunch of people… in the eyes of a 20 year old having her first lick of city life!

A stream of events from the past flash in front of my eyes… the day when me and my roommates had just 1 day to find a house and in the scorching summer heat we went door to door checking out houses….the night when we went hunting for food post 11 pm, got pizzas packed and had a moonlight dinner on our terrace… early morning walks on Hussain Sagar lake.. window shopping at Lifestyle a zillion times (I never bought anything… thanks to the meager stipend).. eating hard-boiled/soft-boiled eggs for breakfast (took me around 3 months to boil an egg right!)… moving around in the jumpy Hyderabad city bus… watching movies for Rs. 30 at Anand theatre… eating at road side places! It was during this 6 months, that I made up my mind on what I wanted my future to look like :)… so its significantly special!

My second stint with Hyderabad was shorter… just 2 months in Apr-Jun 2006… as it would happen, I was again a student but with a better stipend :) This time around I could go to Lifestyle, Westside and buy stuff.. travel around the city in auto rickshaw.. watch movies at multiplex theatres (including Telugu movies)! I explored lots of food joints including the ever famous Bawarchi biryani and Hyderabadi kebabs… my teammates had a tough time finding a restaurant where I did not step in towards the end of it all. I enjoyed my long lonely walks in the Himayat Nagar/Barkatpura region and my impulsive decisions to do anything and everything… it was a new phase of life. It was during this stint that I visited the Salarjung museum and was enthralled by the ‘Veiled Rebecca’ statue in there. Now that I think about it… wanna go back to that museum once again.

As destiny would have it, I was thrown back at Hyd a year later. I once again went through the door to door house hunting in the scorching heat… and then I realized that it ll not be the last time I do this. The last 2 years has been about finding new places to hang out, exploring unknown weekend getaways, multiple rounds of Golconda fort, trying my hand at dancing/music/work outs/cooking, tons of movies (mostly bad!)…. and diverse relations/friends/people. I discovered Chowmahallah palace, Irani chai, peaceful Banjara Hills and more of the vast city. Thanks to the paddys and venis (our maids) and khaleems who have helped sail through the times.... and the saga continues!

People hailing from other cities complain that Hyderabad is not happening enough, not a shopper’s paradise, doesn’t have weekend getaways / hangout joints… I have my list too… especially I am appalled by the traffic sense of folks out here… but to me the city represents zestful life, rich food, royal architecture, bright weather and lovely memories! Cheers to Happy Hyderabad :)

B-school Romances!

http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2007/oct/23bschool.htm

Interesting article I say! :)

Lucky me and u!

http://hotzone.yahoo.com/b/hotzone/blogs2986

Symbols n Memories...

Today I was in this lazy mood (not surprisingly if u know me!!) not wanting to do anything. I was fumbling with my mobile and the thought occured that I could change my ringtone! I started browsing my list of Tamil song tunes.. While I came across one particular ringtone, I realized I was going through a thousand disturbing emotions! Emotions that made me feel gloomy and dull! It took me few seconds to realize that the tune was invoking sad memories of my initial few days at B-School!!

My admission came as a last minute surprise (rather a bonanza as mentioned in one of my previous blogs) and I had barely any time to even mentally prepare myself for the new world I would be submitting myself to for the next 2 years. Most of my batchmates had landed 2 weeks before I got a chance to step into this place and the ice had kind of broken amongst them! I had the feeling of being left behind the crowd which trying to overpower me. But then I knew it was a matter of time and I could adjust myself in a week's time. Then came a series of bad or rather sad news.. my brother down with jaundice, my grandfather's disappearance after losing his way in a train journey, people back home tensed regarding the issue.. I had no one to talk to and felt like running back home! The initial 10 days were tough and this particular ringtone was what my mobile sported during those times. I eagerly looked forward to calls from my near and dears & everytime my mobile sang this tone, my heart would swell with feelings. So here it was, once again causing an emotional turmoil inside me every time I heard it.

I distanced myself from my cellphone and sat back wondering how few things we never give importance to bring memories and emotions back so strongly!! Reflecting back, there's one more sound that puts me in an emotional chaos. That's the shrill noise of a peacock! Quite a coincidence.. this noise reminds of my first few days at graduation college! 3 days after my parents left me behind in this place thousands of miles away from my hometown, I was down with fever! Temperature running high, I had to put myself to rest. While everyone around went to attend classes I was sitting all alone in my room's balcony with a plate of bread and jam in hand & a longing for mom's care in heart! Probably my college is the only place where one can find peacocks roaming around as common as stray dogs! So while I was sitting in the balcony drooling in self pity there were these bunch of peacocks causing cacophony with their shill, loud voice! They were disturbing my privacy, intruding my thoughts. Not unpredictably from that day, unconsciously I had started associating this terrible noise to those sad days...

Till this day, I stay away from a peacock's noise. Today, I deleted this ringtone from my mobile.. in an effort to forget the sad memories of the past! Let the symbols of the present only remind of the good and let the bad be drowned with the past!

Random thoughts...

A month bak I was talking to a friend on phone and he asked me if I was planning to work after marriage. I was shocked beyond words... Man, would I work all my way up to studying in a premier B-school just to end up sitting at home!! A week back I was chit-chatting with 2 of my friends here. We kinda landed up in this discussion regarding career n gals.

One of them belongs to a conservative religion and community. She was telling us that when she got admit to this B-school her relatives were rather cynical about her studying further! The reason - it is difficult to get a qualified guy in the same community once she finishes studying. Thinking about it, if not for my parents being educated, same would have been my case. Some of my friends who were bright students while at school and some even toppers during graduation, got married at 20 and 21 due to parental pressure. Naturally they go to any damn place their spouse is situated in... and career is the last thing on mind then! Sad to see many intelligent minds being arrested in the name of marriage!

I came across an ad in a matrimonial column - "The guy wants a gal who is very fair, beautiful, good-looking, a post graduate and is willing to be a housewife"!! Leaving aside the complexion part, y wud someone want his wife to be a post graduate if he is not willing to let her work. It is a different case if the gal choses not to work. Talking about the complexion-craziness, if I may call so, a look at the matrimonial column would vouch for the fact that every guy wants a model for a life-partner! Even better, there was a recent ad seeking a 'British-white' girl in India!!

Am no female-chauvinist and my opinions here are directed towards the society and not the Indian male. I personally know of guys whom I respect for their opinions and empathy towards Indian women. One thing's for sure... the society is fast changing throwing the MCPs out of fashion. Attitudes and opinions should be influenced at the root level. The society is changing for the better and I'm sure me & a thousand women of the present will raise our sons to be the men that we desire the society to be filled with!

He was there last week...

He was back again last week!!

To scintillate every nerve of mine..
To entangle every breath of mine..
To gimme sleepless nights..
To take away my appetite..
To choke me with his love..
To wrap me in his warmth..

Clinging to me like a lifetime lover! Never willing to go...

He was with me for just 2 days.. But it seemed like ages went by with jus me and him all alone captivated forever!! He is... my boyfriend... who frequents me the most.. my dear Fever!!